Same Sex Life Commitments

It has been "too" long since I have produced a blog post.  I wish to memorialize some thoughts about a topic that will continue to frustrate many, for many more years to come: Same Sex Marriage.

I do not profess to fully understand homosexuality, its causes, or most of the implications for life that this life-trait of a significant number of people, creates.  I do believe that those that identify with this lifestyle are part of God's creation and deserve to be respected and treated with the same loving kindness that any other human being should receive.  I have several gay friends, some of which are willing to share their life challenges with me as a trusted friend.  I am very much a heterosexual and I am secure in that identity; I am not threatened by the fact that some homosexual friends are willing to share their life experiences with me on a deeper level than that of a simple acquaintance.

I am a pretty faithful Christian, who considers The Bible as the fully true, inspired word of God.  I do struggle to understand the very strident anti-homosexual references of some portions of scripture.  I have decided that the truth my faith leads me to believe is in The Bible, is more complex than the simple, direct, literal, words recorded.  In addition, the universal, clearly stated, biblical truth of caring for your neighbor as yourself, easily trumps the localized criticism of homosexuality passages in The Bible.

This blog is not intended to be a discourse of acceptance or rejection of homosexuality; that is a topic that will be debated for a long time.  I wrote the paragraphs above simply to record some background of my stance, so that a clearer understanding of what I intend to write below can be achieved.  My stance is somewhat different than either "positive" or "negative", and I wish to avoid folks placing me automatically in an "anti-homosexual" position.

This blog was written to express thoughts about "Same Sex Unions ("Marriage")"

I believe:

1. The desire for a homosexual couple to live in a committed, (hopefully) lifelong, faithful, monogamous, relationship should be encouraged, honored, and supported by society.
   
2. The same legal formation of an entity recognized and registered by the states and federal governments as traditional marriage between a man and a woman should be performed.
   
3. The same life-partner benefits extended to marriage partners should be granted to identically bonded homosexual couples.  This means the same insurance, tax, corporate, estate, etc. benefits, with no restrictions or exclusions.
   
4. Matching and equivalent cultural celebrations of the couple formation should be observed.  It carries equal meaning and joy and should be celebrated.
   
5. While the ideal environment to raise a child is in a nurturing, loving, child cherishing, home that includes an attentive Mother AND an attentive Father, homosexual couples should be granted full parental rights, should they choose to raise children.  It is possible for a homosexual household to be a better environment for child rearing than some heterosexual households. (I also admire and honor single parents who do their best to provide an excellent child rearing environment in their homes.  While the best environment includes a Mom and a Dad, it is possible for a single parent home to be a better child rearing environment than some "traditional marriage" homes.
   
6.  Dissolution of a homosexual couple's union/legal entity should be performed in a manner that matches a marital divorce.  Same process, same results; sad when it happens, but necessary because "people" are involved......
   
7. Match the union of a heterosexual couple in every manner.....except NOT be labeled: "Marriage".  (I am fine with our culture coming up with a new word whose definition means the committed, legal, bonding of two same sex lives.  I don't yet have that term to suggest, and I encourage some public creativity/debate on what that term might be.)

So, why do I have a problem with a same-sex union being labeled "A Marriage"?

There have been significant and numerous cultural or societal reductions in the sanctity, support, and recognitions of  "Marriage".  These changes have been incremental, have occurred over numerous decades, and weren't necessarily of malicious intent.  However, the loss of support for "Marriage" has had no counterbalancing acts that uplift and provide positive support to a relationship structure that in my opinion is necessary for a healthy, long term, societal structure.  I believe our culture needs strong marriages, and we as a culture need to make a stance that says: "We want strong marriages in our culture, and we are willing to encourage their formation and longevity."

I am not saying that same sex unions are not good for our society, or that they directly destroy marriages.  I AM saying that calling them "A Marriage" is just one more step towards diminishing the importance/uniqueness of "Marriage".

There have been many cultural shifts that effectively diminish the importance/uniqueness of "Marriage":

• The sexual revolution where non-marital sex is accepted and encouraged
  
• Intentional choice to remain single when pregnancy occurs.  Some women have multiple children, each with a different Father (actually, a more accurate term would be sperm donor; these type of men are not performing the duty of a "Father".  Another topic for another blog post, later....)
  
• Celebrities who are idolized for having children out of wedlock
  
• Marriage being portrayed as "old fashioned" or as the source of ridicule by the entertainment industry
  
• "No Fault" divorce. While "No Fault" divorce laws ended the tyranny of being required to continue to exist (barely survive?) in a terrible marriage, they created another tyranny of not needing to be responsible how you conduct yourself in your Marriage.   It is now too easy to escape your presumed commitment, with no consequences.
  
• Except for religious institutions, who pretty much DO support strong Marriages, our culture has provided very little support or encouragement for building strong Marriages.

Thus my desire for change in the same-sex union debate is small, might be considered petty by some, but is at least one small step towards changing the trend towards De-emphasizing strong Marriage.  I simply wish to find some way we can encourage rather than diminish Marriage- a lifelong union of a man and a woman.

I fully support lifelong unions of same sex couples, I just want to use another name for their union.  Their union is no worse or better than that of a heterosexual couple; it IS different, and I would like to have a different label.